Getting Back To College

"Is it B2?" said a soft voice when I was totally indulged in reading 'Half Girlfriend'. I was on the train getting back to my college after summers. I looked up and found a young and beautiful girl in her early twenties, dragging a trolley behind and a bag on her back. I was nervous and looked numb. "What???" I said."Yes, Yes this is B2" the man sitting next to me said just when I opened my mouth to answer her again. I shifted my eyes from her to that man and was like I am going to eat him alive. She sided her trolley inside the berth and settled down opposite to my seat. Amid all these, I was staring her continuously but was acting like am reading the Novel. I uplifted the novel a bit facing her so that the cover of the Novel is clearly seen. I tried to put an impression through that book but nothing seemed to be working. I was staring at her continuously through the corner of my eyes keeping my head inside the book. And she? She too was staring. But this was not me. She was looking outside the window this whole time.

     She was fair. Wearing red top and light blue jeans. Her black hair stayed at her shoulder and light brownish tip of those tried to just kiss her lips. Few of them ran down to her neck to cover it. It appeared like she is very well known by all those acts and she let them do whatever they wanted, without any interference. I kept flowing and smiling on all the naughty acts of those hair of hers.. Overall she was a perfect match for me. But till now I did not even say a 'hello'.

   Time passed. The sun began to settle down. The whole sky appeared like an orange colored sheet has been spread all over. It was an amazing evening. But inside, everything was still. Nothing seemed to be moving. The man next to me was shaking, following the rhythm of the train, bowing his head down towards the floor. She, staring outside and me, still focusing on her. Finally I knew that this 'Novel act' is not going to help so I put the book aside and started looking outside as she was. It was finally then when my inner voice rose and started shouting telling me to talk with her. An enormous courage was filled in my heart and now I was ready. But wait. What should I talk about?? "You can talk about anything..Talks arises from talk. At least you start. Ok, let's start with this evening. Go ahead talk to her about this wonderful weather." said my inner voice. I cleared up my throat and passed a smile on her. But it seemed she didn't notice it. "Nice weather" said me. She looked away from the window and moved aside. I hadn't talk to a strange girl directly since ages so I became nervous. She grabbed her handbag and put out her vibrating phone and said "Hey, I was thinking of you". I opened my book and buried my face in it.

"She avoided you." said my inner voice.

"No, I might spoke too slow to be heard." said me to myself.

"Hah!! Can't you see she is talking to her boyfriend? She avoided you for him" said inner voice.

"How stupid you are! If she being polite with him doesn't mean he is her boyfriend.." said me.

All these conversation were going on my mind when she finally said "Love you, bye" and cut the phone. My heart broke into thousands of pieces. All those things which my friend used to say about girl species, was revolving in my mind. How unfaithful a girl could be and how this species is an excellent heart breakers. I didn't even know her name but I was angry. If she has a boyfriend then there is no reason to sit opposite to her. Thinking all this, I began to rise from that seat to sit somewhere else but then an unexpected thing occurred."You were saying something?" said she. "Sorry, actually my mom called up. Network is weak and I was trying to connect since long."

      Suddenly all of my friends' talk appeared to be fake. They are all fraud. See, how innocent she is! My heart was again filled with love. I wanted to dance like a mad monkey. But I remained calm and replied as politely as I could.

"Yah, I was saying how wonderful the weather is!" said me looking outside the window which was already dark.

"Anything else?" she replied.

"Whh..at???" I asked fixing my eyes on her.

"I thought you are going to say more cause you were staring at me since the moment I came here. I saw you read that single page of your Novel for two hours. You weren't actually reading at all. You were scanning me all the time." she said it with full confidence as she knew everything. I froze. Time was going slower. My face began to grew red. I fell so embarrassed. She caught me red handed. I looked upon the window and began to think if I could break and jump out of it. I simply wanted to escape it somehow.

"You are not the only one. The man sitting on the other side is doing the same as you." she said, lowering her voice a bit and trying to look outside the window. I looked around and tried to figure out how she knows everything. Does she have a spy camera or something like that. But obviously I found none.

I asked "How can you say that?" 

She replied "It's not even only your fault though. The entire society is same, this 'male dominating' society" she continued with a heavy voice. "It teaches you how to use a girl to feed you, benefit you, make her a woman to continue your generation and finally die without questioning anything, just like a robot who does everything as it is programmed to do. And if someday it misbehaves or does not follow your commands , you reset it. But in case of a woman, you have a different way of resetting, varying from slaps, belts, rods and in some cases even a cricket bat. "

It was not like I was unaware of these but the way she was narrating everything is beyond my words. My red face grew pale and was listening to her as we were in justice court and she was reading my remorse in front of the judge. She was blaming me. I was her culprit. Even though I had no direct contact with any girl outside my family, I felt ashamed.

"You must be thinking why I am telling you all these? Believe me, I also don't know why I am doing this. My day was not good today. May be this is why you are getting this lecture."

"I can understand" I said to make her feel good.

"No, you cannot" she immediately crossed my statement. It was clear that she really had a bad day and I didn't want to add anything in it so I remained calm and listened to her carefully.

"You cannot understand a girl's world until you yourself a girl. You will never understand how does it feel when you go outside and find everyone looking onto you. And do you know what is the worst part of the story?"

"What's that?" I replied being a bit more curious.

"It's the thing that you know what's going in their mind and you can't do anything to escape that." she said.

Her anger changed into strange sadness. She bowed down to look her pink polished nails, curling her fingers. But I think she did it to hide her eyes which was about to get moist. Till now I was thinking why she is so much angry with me. I just appreciated the weather and since then she is on and on and on. But now? Things have changed a lot. This was not only her, I seem to be equally hurt. Silence followed.

"What will you take for dinner?" said the pantry person breaking the silence.

"Umm, veg biryani for me and..." I replied finally pointing towards her.

"Nothing" she said.

"Ohh sorry... Please cancel mine too. I am also not feeling hungry." I said greeting him with a smile. He went further to take orders from others. It was then when I realized the man sitting next to me was gone. He didn't carry much luggage with him and that is why he left without making a sound. Though I had no bad intention, yet I felt more comfortable talking to her now.  

"It seems you have a bad past" I said drawing her attention from the window.

"Why you felt so?" she said looking into my eyes directly.

"No one says this much and specially when she is travelling alone " I replied smiling.

"Haha..Yeah you are right. I am crazy. " she said laughing like a baby. This was the first time she was smiling since her 'phone act'. I felt relaxed because reason of her smile was me.

"No. I didn't mean to say that" I replied with a smile.

"Well. Yes. I have been through many bad life experiences." she began with a husky voice."But should I tell you all these? Aren't you a total stranger to me?"

"Stranger?? You gave a full half an hour lecture to this stranger on just saying how beautiful this evening is. And don't forget I just cancelled my dinner for you." said me showing a bit of anger and sounding funny at the same time.

"Bwahahaha" she started laughing holding her stomach as if I cracked a joke. "You have a nice sense of humor, I must say." she continued trying to control her laugh. "And yes how could I forget about your dinner." she said while bringing out the trolley and opening it to take out a packet. she picked out a disposable plate and put on some homemade kachori in it. She opened another small box. As she opened the lid of the box, spicy smell of pickles spread all over. My mouth was watered.

I could hardly control.

"Here is your dinner" she said passing the plate towards me.

I forgot all my manner and grabbed two from it. I was hungry.

"I hope you have left enough for you too" I enquired after having a large bite of kachori which made me sound childish.

"Ya ya..Don't worry. My mother has a habit of packing more than I could eat." She said politely while putting some more kachori for herself in another plate.

"It's very nice. Thank God I cancelled my Biryani." said me still having kachori in my mouth.

"Haha..Ya my mom really cooks good." said she having a bite of it.

"So you were telling about your life experiences. We are having dinner together. So I hope you won't say anything about being stranger, again." I said while dipping my kachori in the pickle.

"So you are interested?" she asked looking at my face.

"Of course, yes" I spoke quickly .

"Hmm.." she said after finishing her kachori. She picked up the bottle kept aside and drink a small sip of it.

She began after a short pause "My dad left us when I was nine. He was shouting and perhaps beating my mom when I was in other room crying alone. This is the last memory I have of him."

She stopped to have another bite of her kachori. I wanted to talk but I ran out of words.

"Where is he now? Your dad?" I somehow managed to ask.

"Ahh..he died later due to some disease." she said so easily as nothing has happened.

"Ohh, am sorry." I apologized.

"Please don't be. Even I, never thought any good of him. He used to bit my mom everyday as my Nani Ma says." she said.

"Nani Ma?" I enquired.

"Yes. After that, I was brought up to my Nani Ma where I grew up." she answered.

"Ohh I see." I added.

"My life changed since then. I was taught how to talk, cook, behave and get dressed properly. Initially I liked it. But as I grew up, I knew the reason for all this change. I was being prepared. Prepared to sold off. Marriage. This became the final concern of my mom and other family members around. Every day I was reminded that am being raised for a special occasion. I was supposed to help my mom in her cooking, cleaning and all sort of household stuff. My studies were only seen as a degree which I needed for better marriage proposals. There was nothing I could think else of my marriage. " she added while her voice becoming little heavier.

"Sounds terrible." I said sitting still holding half eaten kachori.  

"Yes, it is." she said eating the last bite.

"I could hardly imagine your situation. I doubt if I could survive that and talk about to anyone like you are doing." I said.

"Ohh please don't say like that. It's not that much bad." she replied cleaning the leftovers which fell on her jeans with her hanky.

"Don't know how correct I am but I guess your mom had no other option. After your father, you were her everything and obviously she wanted a good life for you." I said hesitatingly.

"Yah am very well aware of that and that's why I never complained to her about anything. I did whatever she wanted. I am her darling." she said joyfully.   

"Yes. I can sense that too. You are brave and strong as well. And believe me am not buttering." said me smiling.

"Haha..I do." she smiled back.

"What happened next?" I asked.

"But sooner I knew that education is the only way which could lead me to a better life and thankfully am good in studies. I finished my intermediate with first division and it was then when I left my second home too." she said beginning to settle down on her berth.

"Left?? Where??" I enquired eating the half kachori which was there in my hand since long.

"College." she said with complete sighness in her voice.

"Which one?" I enquired.

"National Law School Of India University" she said with huge pride and happiness.

"That's India's top law college" I spoke loudly creating a bit of disturbance for other passengers sleeping around.

"Haha..yah I know." she said looking at me.

I also began to settle down in my berth when she caught me looking at her like a fool.

"Wow. You should have told me earlier. I mean you must be really talented to get admitted into that college." I told showing how desperate I was.

"Nah.. Nothing like that. I am as simple as others." she said closing her eyes.

Sleep was far far away from my eyes. But as she was sleeping I had to put stone on my heart and had to greet "Good night."

"Good night" she replied and blinked her eyes a bit.

I settled down on my berth closing my eyes and rewinding all that happened today. I couldn't feel sleepy and her voice was rising in my mind again and again. I was drawing her gestures all the time. Her facial expressions which changed from being silent to laugh of a kid. Everything was in my mind. My closed eye lids was working as a screen for all my thoughts. And suddenly a loud and known voice came.

"Tanmay?? Beta, wake up. You would miss your train. It's already seven."

I opened my eyes as quickly as I could and saw on my left to see her. But I couldn't find her. Instead there was a table on which the novel 'Half girlfriend' was kept. I sat down and ran my eyes all over. I found myself on my bed. My mom was opening the curtains, allowing the sunlight to enter and was telling me to wake up.

"Ohh mom.." said me and fall back on my bed like a stone.

"Wake up beta.. Your train is at ten and it's already seven. Your dad is waiting for you. Hurry up and come down to have your breakfast." she said before leaving and left the door open.

After an hour or so. I went downstairs to join my dad at breakfast.

"Good morning, dad." I greeted him gently.

"Morning Tanmay. You woke up late?" he enquired.

"Yes dad. I was dreaming." I replied with a smile.

Yes. A dream. That's all it was. Or it was a pre sight which I was about to face again? Whatever it was, has affect me a lot. My view towards a girl is no more the same.

      I am eagerly waiting to get over the train and praying God if somehow he could repeat the same story again. There is a lot which I have to tell her..